What a bloody week!!!
I am sure that some of my feelings are resulting from a complete lack of sleep and therefore brain failure. I’m going to vent about my children, so if you don’t want to read about it then I suggest you keep scrolling….
Ok, so the twins are teething which presents its own set of problems. Bottle and food refusal, general grumpiness, weird sleeping patterns, wanting to be held one minute and wanting to be put down the next. I am back to working 3 days a week so the exhaustion is taking its toll! All of our kids teethe hard and fast. It means its all over quickly but when you are in the middle of it all, its a bloody nightmare! At 8 months old (adjusted age of 7 months), our son has 6 teeth and our daughter 4 with the other 2 well on their way to making an appearance. Not long to go before things settle down but when you combine everything with a cold and all of the weeping, snottiness that goes with it, I am over running out of tissues and getting snot patches on my shoulders! It breaks my heart when they are upset and there is nothing I can do about it. Adding a sick toddler to the mix who always wants mummy makes me wish I could clone myself or have extra hands!
The first winter is the worst. We just have to get through it!
But here’s the real reason for my exhaustion….. Our 2 y.o decided the other evening that it would be a brilliant idea to shove a corn kernel up her nose… YEP. Not impressed!
So I tried to blow it out (one finger on the opposite nostril then blowing into her mouth to try and force the corn out of the other nostril). It didn’t work. So we went to the local 24 hour clinic and I had to keep her occupied for 45 mins while we waited for the doc (could have been worse I guess). She wouldn’t even let him near her to have a look so off to the hospital we went!
They took her in straight away (bless those nurses!) and got me to try the blowing action again. We did it about 3 times and had no luck (all i managed to do was blow her snot all over my cheek!) so they tried suction. No success. She was beside herself- screaming and kicking the nurses to try and get us all off her. She is a petite little thing but it needed 3 of us to hold her down. She kept saying “mummy, cuddles” and “Mummy, don’t like it” over and over again which broke my heart! Eventually we needed some gas and air but even that didn’t calm her down. We had to hold her while the doc stuck a big hook thing up/down there and on the last try she dislodged the biggest bit of corn they had ever seen come out of anyone’s nose!
I was so relieved as the next step was a general anaesthetic the next day.
It was so emotionally and physically draining!!! We got home just before 1am and by the time I prepared for the next day, I was in bed at 1:30 but didn’t sleep till 2 as I still had that adrenalin in me, keeping me wide eyed. She was back to her perky self the next day and insisted on going to childcare so I dropped her off with the express wishes that they call me if she got grumpy. In the end she had a long sleep there and lasted the whole day. I, on the other hand left work mid afternoon and relished a 2.5 hour sleep in an empty, quiet house. How often does that NEVER happen?! I still have scratches and bruises from her kicking and fighting. She is one headstrong, determined little lady. I wonder where she gets that from…
Anyway, enough about that!!!
How do you think your IP’s will go, relinquishing control during the pregnancy and birth?
I think that for our IP’s it will be a slightly different experience when I get pregnant as they have already experienced carrying a baby, feeling the kicks etc. But where it will differ is the complications that they experienced and how they will cope with my more “go with the flow” approach to pregnancy. Given everything they experienced, they will not rest or relax until a healthy baby is delivered into their arms. I need to recognise and respect that and that will be my learning curve. They have said that they trust and respect me intrinsically and my ability to carry children and use my instinct. I am also in some ways quite a control freak so we will have to relinquish a bit of that on both sides! But that being said, if I need to tell them that they are smothering me or to take a step back, then I will. They have also offered separate counselling to me during the pregnancy. Not affiliated with the clinic, or them at all. Somewhere I can talk/vent/discuss the surrogacy process if need be. I will definitely keep that in mind cause it doesn’t matter how close the relationship is and how open and honest you are about the process before the pregnancy progresses, NO ONE knows how anyone will react once that passenger bun is in the tummy mummy’s belly.