Monday 1st July 2013- Talking about the tough stuff

IP’s came over on the weekend. Its bloody freezing her, so I made my first slow cooker meal of the season- hearty beef soup- Yum! I’m not known as the worlds best cook. IP’s survived and even the twins had some so it must have been alright!

We wanted to officially discuss the tough questions before the counselling sessions. We wanted to make sure that if there were any issues or disagreements over any points that we nutted them out beforehand, to save it being a surprise when we get asked it at counselling. Some of the questions were really deep:
– What happens if one or more of the IP’s or the surro/surro’s partner dies?
– What happens if a relationship breaks up?
– What are the surro/IP’s thoughts on termination?
– What are the surro/IP’s thoughts on the baby possibly having a disability?

I must be honest, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. We were on the same page for pretty much everything. My mum was also there, so she took the opportunity to also ask some tough questions which all of us appreciated.

We also had great (and really amusing) conversations about the birth and who would be there/what role they would play, as well as contact after the birth, breastfeeding, house cleaning, sex during pregnancy! It ended up being a really good night. My mum in the end said that she was so proud of me (and hubby) for doing this and also that she thought that our IP’s were oh so deserving and she couldn’t think of a better couple for us to go on this journey with. She said that we acted like we had all been friends since childhood. I think we are all really lucky to have developed this really strong relationship- a friendship.

So for today we are just waiting to hear the news about the number of embies going on ice, then it will be quiet until the counsellor comes back from leave and we discuss bringing forward the first appointment from late August to a little sooner.

Another question about surrogacy I received:

What will you tell your kids?

Our twins are 7.5 months old so wont really understand and doubt they will even remember mummy being pregnant. Our daughter has just turned 2 in May and she knew when I was pregnant with the twins that Mummy had babies in her tummy. Of course this time around, she will know a bit more but we will be telling her that Mummy has X&X’s (IP’s names) baby in her tummy so to prepare her for the fact that the baby wont be coming home with us like the twins did. She will almost be 3 years old when I would be showing significantly enough anyway so we have a little bit of time to ponder the best way of letting her know about it all. She is in “helper mode” with the twins now so I might actually be able to utilise her to pick things up off the floor for me!!

 

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