I always knew that I would say yes in a heartbeat if any of my family wanted me to carry their baby/babies if for some reason they were unable to conceive. But it wasn’t until the last couple of years that I considered it being a possibility for another couple.
I have had 2 spectacularly wonderful pregnancies, resulting in 3 happy, healthy children who are the lights of my life. Why should someone who so desperately wants this for themselves be deprived simply because (for one reason or another) they are unable to carry or conceive?
So I spoke to hubby about it and set about doing some research. I was heartbroken to read about the sheer volume of couples who are relying on surrogates or donors to become parents. All of a sudden I was in this community I knew little about but who welcomed me with open arms without knowing whether I was a surro, an IP, a donor or a recipient. One lady in particular was an absolute sweetheart and offered me her support and to be a sounding board if need be. They were investigating the surrogacy process.
Once I felt comfortable enough to let it out there that I was a potential surro, I got requests in straight away. WHOA!!
I must admit that I was a little taken aback by the emails being so upfront. “Hi there- can I borrow your uterus?” But of course, I thought- potential surros are considered a rare breed and to have the opportunity to “secure” one would be wonderful for these couples. I politely declined each offer as I preferred to be dealing with IP’s in the same state. Mainly for logistical reasons and not wanting to financially impact my surros or detrimentally impact my own family who would continue to be my number one priority throughout this process.
So I hung back, not wanting to approach any surros as I was so aware of not wanting to provide false hope and in a way not knowing how to even start the conversation!! I told myself that I would trust my instinct throughout this process and also be as honest as possible. I owed it to myself and to my potential IP’s whoever they may be.
I am a believer in fate and in the end it was fate who bought us to our potential IP’s. The lady who welcomed me so warmly into the group and who I had been back and forthing with about general this and that bit the bullet and asked the question “Would you potentially consider becoming our surrogate”. This was huge for her as she had never put herself out there like that and had resigned herself to the fact it may not happen for them.
So now we are “dating”!
Its such a weird experience! You want to know each other, but also ask the hard questions to see if the relationship is going to work! I must say though that I love them- they are gorgeous, gorgeous people and would make wonderful IP’s for any surro and wonderful parents as well. Our first meet up was quite heavy- they told their story, we told ours and we asked those questions that you need to know to proceed. I firmly believe that we will be friends no matter which way things progress, but to have these out of the way now puts us on track to just focus on getting to know each other and our families. Our subsequent chats and meet ups have been much more light hearted, swapping stories and lots of laughs.
I don’t know what the next step will be but for the time being we are just happy enjoying each others company and sending any questions we have back and forth.
I am wary about protecting this couples right to privacy, but I still want to also document this journey for myself and for anyone else on here who wants to come along with me. I will do what I can to tell you everything that I can while still being respectful to my potential IP’s and the process.
I have been welcomed so warmly into the surrogate community so want to give something back where possible and if that’s knowledge and experience that I can pass onto someone else then great! Likewise, if you have any questions- fire away! I will answer them as honestly as possible.