Wednesday 29th May 2013- “What am I doing?” moment!!!

So I’m lying in bed thinking… It’s one of those “what on earth am I doing?!” moments.
So many thoughts running through my head about this whole situation. It’s a very fine line between saying yes and saying no for a multitude of reasons.
I think it’s healthy to play the what if scenarios through your head cause you need to be prepared for anything that can happen.
I feel like I’ve made up my mind and then something- anything- might happen and I take a step back and realise I’m not ready to make the call just yet. But that doesn’t mean it’s over. I still want to do this. I just need more time.
I have absolutely no pressure from my potential IP’s, or from myself. I’m just going through the motions, thinking and daydreaming, wondering and questioning.
But that’s healthy. It needs to be done so when the time comes I am prepared and I can make the call with 100% certainty. This isn’t a red flag. It’s the process that you submit to when you decide that you potentially want to do something like this.
So as I listen to the rain on the roof and write this, my “what am I doing?!” moment dissipates and I am calm. I will sleep soundly tonight knowing that I am still on track and knowing that in such an unusual circumstance, what I am feeling is completely normal.
Goodnight xo

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