Wednesday 4th December 2013- OMG the wait is killing me!!!

I am driving myself CRAZY!!!!
So damned impatient for something to happen! To have results. To know either way.
I have pulled away from IP’s just slightly. One minute I have symptoms and I write to IP’s all excited and the next minute I have nothing. It is buggering with my brain! I want to keep them involved but I don’t want to get their hopes up after everything they have been through. Then I am getting paranoid. Am I just making up the symptoms? Am I reading too much into it? I so want this to work but maybe I am overly sensitive to how I am feeling… My instinct is all over the place at the moment, I cant distinguish between head, heart and feeling.
Another Progesterone test today, so hopefully will come back with good levels.

This is WORSE than when I was in the 2ww with our own kids! At least with 2 people, there aren’t as many people to be disappointed if things don’t go ahead. But with surrogacy, so much is invested physically, mentally, financially and 4 people are involved!

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