Friday 4th April 2014- We have a heartbeat! And bubba is a blueberry!

Today marked 7 weeks gestation and a trip to get a scan in the hope of confirming a viable pregnancy with the sighting of a heartbeat.

 

Of course, my morning sickness, headaches, tiredness, cravings for hot chips (fries) and sore boobs told me that this pregnancy was progressing along nicely, but in terms of “official” viability, they like to see a HB.

It was wonderful news, my little passenger is measuring exactly 7 weeks, 0 days and has a nice strong heartbeat. We got to hear the “woosha, woosha, woosha” which almost bought me to tears and DEFINITELY bought IM to tears! We could see the buds appearing that will grow into limbs and were shown the head and tail end. Which I would have guessed were the other way around! (which is why I am not a sonographer…)

So after many years, our IP’s are released from the care of their FS and we are now in the care of the midwives at the hospital!

So how did it all FEEL?! (apart from the uncomfortable full bladder of course) Well for starters, I was so excited for IP’s that I wanted to burst. Its been a long time since they have reached this stage so I am just so thrilled for them. This is their BABY!!! I am so proud of all of us, for the journey we have come on thus far and what we have achieved. I am so amazed and thankful that my IP’s have trusted me with the care of their child. What a massive thing to do. I am so thankful that with all my bitching and moaning about feeling like crap that my hubby hasn’t thrown in back in my face that I wanted to do this and that I should live with the consequences. Maybe because I might belt him…

Someone from the surrogacy community asked me the other day how I was feeling about it all. I am finding it hard to find the words to explain it all as these feelings are something I have never felt before.

I love this child already. But lets not all go running for the hills screaming “oh my god, she is going to keep their baby!” because I am not. 100% not! I love this child with a protective and nurturing instinct but also a sense of detachment.

Detachment? Yes. A good detachment, not a bad one. Its so hard to articulate but the way I can best explain it is that I know this baby isn’t mine in my head. So I feel like my body has developed a sense of detachment to the baby so that I don’t develop those strong maternal feelings that will make me feel like the baby is mine. Does that make sense? This baby has always been and will always be IP’s and I think my body has realised that and wants to protect me. Particularly as I felt a strong maternal attachment to my babies early on in previous pregnancies. Time has long passed that I want to get up for crying newborn babies. I am more than happy to pass that baton on to my little passengers parents!

None of this means that I am not going to nurture this baby to the best of my ability. I am going to grow him, talk to him, sing songs, tell him about his parents, let my babies kiss my tummy and say hi to the baby and tell them about what mummy has in her belly to give as a present to our IP’s. And I cant wait for all of the kicks and movements!

 

Anyway, enough waffling on from me.

 

As for this little cheeky. We are now in week 7. Kidspot website says that lots is happening:

“The tadpole is turning into a proper critter – even if it’s bulgy little eyes and funny forehead make it look more like ET than a human. Your baby is growing at a rapid pace and has possibly doubled in size during the last week, to be around 1 cm in length. Each eye has developed in amazing detail and will have an optic cup, retina and lens – though there is little baby can see in the dark space inside your belly!

Your baby’s inner ears and tongue are starting to form and their upper jaw and palate come together this week, fusing as one. Your baby now has a pancreas and an appendix and the beginnings of their reproductive organs. You’ll have to wait until around week 16 to see if there are enough dangly bits to determine whether it’s a boy or a girl by ultrasound though!

Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and the small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone, is starting to become even smaller. By the end of this week a fine, transparent layer of skin covers baby’s body and webbed fingers (which look more like paddles than proper limbs). The skin develops in two layers – and even sweat glands start to form.”

Here is the little blueberry!

7 weeks

No visible baby bump for me yet (thank goodness, because I am not ready for the world to know just yet!) but things are getting a little tighter around my belly, so some items of clothing have been temporarily retired.

 

Be back next week for another update!

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9 thoughts on “Friday 4th April 2014- We have a heartbeat! And bubba is a blueberry!

  1. Woohooo grow baby grow!!! I 100% get your feelings on loving their baby but not wanting to keep it lol!!! Not everyone gets that though people think im crazy when I say oh I love her soooo much but not for keeps lol.

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