I am digressing from all things surrogacy for a moment to talk about kids.
I love my babies. So much. They are funny, have boundless energy, love kisses and cuddles and make me so proud. But they are also kids- loud, obnoxious, messy, can throw a tantrum in 0.1 of a second and they get up early. Too bloody early!
So I imagined if my children were alarm clocks and all that would be great about that! (This is what sleep deprivation will do to you…)
Why kids should be like alarm clocks:
1. You can donk them on the head to make them go back to sleep for an extra 7 minutes in the morning
Just like a snooze button! Don’t feel ready to get up yet? A simple press on the head will put your kids back to sleep so you can get that extra few minutes shut eye. Just don’t be too physical- they are kids after all. And if you are feeling really adventurous, press it again and again and again until you have passed the point of no return and are incredibly late.
2. You can set the alarm for any time you want!
No more vicious 5.30am wake ups! Set your kid alarm for 7am. Or be brave, 7.30am! They wont “go off” until you want them to. And if you are still feeling tired, see point 1.
3. Bring back the weekend sleep ins
Kids don’t know the difference between weekdays and weekends- they get up early all the time! With a kid alarm clock, you can set them for a lie in on the weekend. A sleep in! Oh the possibilities…
4. You can set their mood depending on the music that plays once the alarm has gone off.
I don’t know about you, but we use the radio as our alarm. Radio stations have moods. The radio station you set for your kid alarm will dictate their mood for the day! Lets look at some examples:
Talk back radio- This should be used on a childcare day. Lots of questions, inquisitive, ready to learn! Do not, I repeat- DO NOT use this on a weekend.
Golden oldies- Your classic child comes out. They are loving, caring, use their manners and put away their toys. Use sparingly, as these classics can get old pretty quickly.
Funky mix of today- When you want something to perk up the kids, make them excited for an outing (but not too excited, its still a reputable station), go the radio that plays today’s hits. Its all about the moment and being in the now. And if something crappy is happening, it will be old in no time as tomorrow is a new day!
Rock- Tap your feet to those beats and play a little air guitar because rock is the ultimate play radio station! Your kids will be immersed in their toys, playing with their current favorites and reminiscing with their toys of yesterday. Just watch the beat- nothing too heavy to induce head banging. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Smooth hits- Perfect for a rainy, inside day. Do some quiet, mellow activities. But not too much- a moody kid funk is not something we want to encourage. Neither are sloppy, emotional kisses…
Pumpin’ beats- These speak for themselves! Don’t ever play pumping beats unless one intends for their children to play outside with boundless energy. Please be prepared for the come down though- sometimes its not pretty.
“Doof doof” music (not to be confused with pumpin’ beats)- This encompasses nightclub music, rap music and anything hard core- This must be used with caution. I recommend this type of alarm clock radio station when the kids are going to their grandparents. 😀
5. They tell you all about what your day is going to be like
When our alarm goes off, the news is usually on. If your kid was an alarm clock, they could read the news to you! Something along the lines of “today there is 1 poo nappy scheduled, there will be a strike over carrots and some serious toy traffic leading into the back bedrooms so tiptoe safely”.
6. They can tell you the temperature
Who needs a thermometer when your kid has a digital temp display on their heads? Perfect for winter!
7. They can recharge your phone
Who doesn’t want a little multi tasking from their kids!?
Too ambitious or could this work?