Wednesday 3rd August- Limbo (delayed post #18)

***Delayed post from 3rd August***

After lots of tossing and turning last night I woke this morning feeling like shit! I was too afraid to get up because I was scared of what I might find. I lay in bed, chatting to KiT (who is totally and utterly AMAZING) and slowly getting more and more uncomfortable as my bladder was at bursting point.

I went to the loo and was relieved to see that there was no more spotting. So we are back in limbo land!

When I called KiT last night, she was pretty awesome. She said all the right things. She spoke about keeping positive but on the flip side, she mentioned everything we would focus on if this cycle didn’t work. A backup plan of sorts. Of course, we desperately want it to work but if not, at least we have something to keep our minds and bodies focused until the end of the year.

Blood test is 1 week away. I am pretty sure that the absence of my period will reveal good news. Day 27 of my cycle today so if I am going to bleed, it will likely begin from Friday onwards. But I am NOT going to bleed! Florrie is a warrior and he/she WILL stick!

Florrie got a LOT of love yesterday. I asked the kids to chat to my tummy and give it a rub. They told the “babymaker” that they loved it and asked it to grow. It was so sweet!

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Whilst I am certainly aware that in the scheme of things, this isn’t a difficult road, it just shows how much people are invested in surrogacy- physically and emotionally- surrogates and IP’s.

Sticky vibes, sticky vibes, sticky vibes.

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