Friday 19th August- Lets do this sh1t. (delayed post #24)

***Delayed post from 19th August***

After our appt Monday, KiT/CaT went home and made the call that we would try again this month. I am excited but… I don’t know. There’s a bit of trepidation, maybe… There is absolutely no pressure from KiT/CaT but I have put some pressure on myself- I know I shouldn’t but I feel it there. I feel like a positive this time will give them at least a fighting chance of getting a sibling- if they so choose. I feel like a negative will put that in jeopardy. I am not being pessimistic- I am still keeping positive. But realistic. It’s just that finite number that is hanging around in the back of my brain. 4. 4 embryos left…

I met KiT at the clinic for another scan today. I have a 14mm follicle and my lining looks good for day whatever the hell it is of my cycle (just checked my diary, its day 14). Had bloods taken (LH baseline as expected). I will have another BT on Monday and if nothing shows up on the bloods, back for a scan and more bloods on Wednesday.

I also picked up my pregnyl- insulated lunchbox at the ready lol The jabs will be interesting, that’s for sure! But for now we are just in a holding pattern. Maintaining the status quo. Peeing on surge-ometers every day. Drinking wine while we still can.

We have all made the call to go radio silent this transfer. Keep it on the down low. Everyone thinks that we are breaking until November/December. I love sharing what is happening but then comes the questions about whether I have ovulated, when transfer is taking place, whether I have POAS, whether I have any symptoms etc. A great weight of expectation on us all. We know and appreciate that people are excited but sometimes it just feels like we are fielding questions from all angles. I also feel like I wont be disappointing as many people if its a negative. That doesn’t quite make sense even as I am writing it, but it is how I feel.

I see wine and sushi in my immediate future, as well as some final exercise classes and running before getting PUPO again!

Stay tuned for surge-ometer updates!

xo